What color is your chalk bag? Do you know what it says about you? Do you know what everybody in the gym thinks when you wear that color chalk bag?
Oh, you don’t? You’re in for a treat. Learn why your chalk bag color matters and how to choose one that suits your style better.
This is a totally scientific analysis. Every climber in the world was questioned about this information. If you weren’t asked, it’s because you missed the gym that day.
Black Chalk Bag: The Mysterious Minimalist
Your wardrobe probably consists of all black, except for the white chalk spots on your clothes. You climb like a ninja, or at least think you do. You judge people with brightly colored gear but secretly wish you could pull off wearing neon green Lycra.
White Chalk Bag: The Purist Perfectionist
Your favorite hold? The one with the most chalk on it. You’re all about technique (or at least talk like you are), except most people don’t understand why you tell them you’re training your one-arm bat hang undercling. People assume you’re either a pro or a beginner, nothing in between.
Red Chalk Bag: The Aggressive Sender
You climb with the energy of a squirrel on caffeine. You don’t know how to rest and blame all your falls on the conditions. You probably unironically yell “Allez!” in your English gym. You take awful care of your skin, and when your hands bleed, you consider it a badge of honor.
Blue Chalk Bag: The Chill, Go-With-the-Flow Climber
You call every route “Pretty fun,” no matter how terrifying or chossy it is. You probably own a van (or dream of one), and your beta explanations always start with, “Just feel it out.” You climb slower than a sloth and wonder why you pump out on routes.
Green Chalk Bag: The Nature-Loving Crag Hippie
You preach, leave no trace, but spill your chalk bag whenever you’re at the crag. You have more stickers on your water bottle than contacts on your phone. You’ve seriously considered making your own chalk from crushed leaves and dirt.
Yellow Chalk Bag: The Optimist (or the Beta Sprayer)
You cheer for everyone, even if they don’t want it. You have a love-hate relationship with slopers, and your friends have a special look for when you give “helpful” advice. “Come on!” is usually the first thing out of your mouth when you’re belaying.
Purple Chalk Bag: The Climbing Philosopher
You treat every climb like a spiritual experience, and you probably quote Alex Honnold or Yvon Chouinard too much. You have a journal full of “Deep” thoughts about your footwork.
Pink Chalk Bag: The Fierce but Friendly Crusher
You may look unassuming, but you’re stronger than half the gym. You secretly enjoy intimidating everyone who underestimates you. You bring homemade energy snacks and share them with everyone.
Orange Chalk Bag: The Life of the Climbing Party
You show up with the loudest pants and the biggest psych. You’ve been climbing for three months. You’ve never turned down a dyno, even when you should have. You already have two finger injuries, and you high-five everyone, no matter if you’ve met them.
Gray Chalk Bag: The Underrated Technician
You probably have a spreadsheet for your climbing progress from the last six years. You’re quiet, precise, and unreasonably good at slab. People only realize you’re strong when you flash their project.
Multicolored or Tie-Dye Chalk Bag: The Wild Card
No one knows what you’ll do next—not even you. You climb either V2 or V10+; there is no in-between. You probably forgot to pack snacks but somehow brought a hammock.
Animal Print Chalk Bag: The Chaos Agent
You either crush hard or flail spectacularly. Your climbing playlist is a mix of heavy metal and ’90s pop. You absolutely have a story about getting stuck in a tree while bouldering.
No Chalk Bag: The Raw Dog Climber
You either don’t sweat or you enjoy suffering. Probably both. You claim, “It’s all about grip strength,” while leaving sweat lines down the rock when you slip off holds. Everyone secretly wonders if you’re okay.
Okay, okay. The only thing that matters is you’re out there climbing and having fun. But watch out for those pink chalk bags. Make sure you give them the respect they deserve.